The Fourth Trimester: What Nobody Tells You About the First 12 Weeks

We spend nine months preparing for one day. Then the day comes, everyone goes home, and you realise nobody really told you about the weeks after. The first three months with a newborn are often called the fourth trimester: a time when your baby is adjusting to the world, and you are adjusting to a whole new version of you.

Your body is still healing

Whether you had a vaginal birth or a caesarean, your body has done something huge. Bleeding after birth (lochia) can continue for several weeks. Your uterus is shrinking back, which can feel like period cramps, especially while feeding. Your breasts may be full, tender or leaking. All of this is part of recovery, not a sign you are doing it wrong.

Your feelings may surprise you

Joy and tears can live in the same hour. Many mums feel teary, overwhelmed or flat in the first week or two, often called the baby blues. If low feelings hang around longer than about two weeks, or start to feel heavy, it is worth talking to someone. We wrote more about that here.

What actually helps

• Lower the bar. Feed the baby, feed yourself, rest when you can. Everything else is optional.
• Say yes to help. Meals, washing, a walk with the pram so you can shower. Let people love you.
• Set up feeding stations. Water, snacks, nursing pads, balm and your phone charger, wherever you feed.
• Keep your six-week check. It is for you, not just your baby. Bring your questions.
• Find your people. A mothers group, a friend who just had a baby, or a helpline at 3am.

Support lines worth saving in your phone

• PANDA National Helpline (perinatal anxiety and depression): 1300 726 306
• Australian Breastfeeding Association Helpline: 1800 686 268
• Pregnancy, Birth and Baby (healthdirect): 1800 882 436

This article is general information, written by mums for mums. It isn't medical advice. If something doesn't feel right, trust that feeling and talk to your GP, midwife or child health nurse.